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Another Epitaph of a Sort [Jul. 4th, 2009|01:43 am]
The short of it:  I have a new blog.  It is here:
aelfscine.wordpress.com

So it has gradually become clear that Livejournal sucks donkey balls.  Sold off to the Russians, LJ has languished in stasis as services like Wordpress and Blogger have come to define the modern-day blog.  Russian software developers have in my experience been bumbling and inept,  LJ's current owners do not fail to disappoint on this scale, laying off people and basically ignoring their product.  Passing off 2005's work in 2009 is hardly good business, but it's the plan they appear ready to stick to.

Combine this with the fact that Facebook and Twitter offer much better up to-the-minute updating abilities, and LJ looks even less attractive.

Finally, just about everyone on my friends list here that I've met in person isn't blogging any more, or else has moved to another blog.

And this last thing is what I'm doing.  I don't like that my LJ has been languishing lately, but I'm not the sort that just wants to chronicle my thoughts with 160 character status updates.

So!  I've gone and made a Wordpress blog, and imported every single thing on this one over there.  All posts, all comments, all tags, completely carried over.  (very easily, I might add)  Those of you still LJing and actively posting, I'm following the feeds from your blogs, so I'm not just bailing out completely.  At the same time though, any new posts will be on the new blog from here on out.  You don't have to have anything special to leave comments, so by all means, stop on by!

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Epitaph [May. 28th, 2009|10:38 am]
One artifact of the past that our children will never know is the dreaded AOL CD.  Utterly ubiquitous in the 90's, both the shitty company and their shitty CD's were simply unavoidable.  Always at the forefront of jackassery, AOL reached its pinnacle when it bought Time/Warner - at the time the media company was the 'old dog' being picked up by the hip new company of the future.

Today CNN announced that Time/Warner is spinning off AOL into its own company - aka, sending it off to die.  Yes, the mighty giant has been laid low, largely due to its moronic clinging on to dial-up when the world has moved on.  Life was grand for them when they could monopolize content ("News for subscribers only!"), but the web quickly made all of their exclusive content redundant.  Now all they have as their main site is a crappy portal that's just a copy of Yahoo's front page, which isn't that good either.  While they do still have AIM as a viably useful service, Trillian, texting, Twitter, and Facebook are all steadily devouring its dominance.

Unless it very doubtfully creates some sort of new innovation (which it's failed to do in the last eight years, why start now?), AOL has been effectively put out to pasture.  It is now the "old dog," ironically being turned out by the even older (but much more relevant) dog.

I think of all those damned CD's, and of the living hell it used to be to cancel your service (my parents both used AOL for a while, *shudder*).
I know the company isn't truly dead - like 3D Realms did, they might stumble around for a few years before finally collapsing.  But I've written this epitaph so that when the day finally does come, it can be pinned to the back of their fallen body as they're left unburied to rot in a field.

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Cheney Next? [May. 23rd, 2009|09:56 am]
Conservative talk radio host Mancow tried out being waterboarded in an attempt to disprove it as torture.

He lasted six seconds, after which he said: 

"It is way worse than I thought it would be, and that's no joke,"Mancow said, likening it to a time when he nearly drowned as a child.  "It is such an odd feeling to have water poured down your nose with your head back...It was instantaneous...and I don't want to say this: absolutely torture."

Christopher Hitchens apparently had earlier done the same thing and commented:
"Well, then, if waterboarding does not constitute torture, then there is no such thing as torture,"

Although I'm sure there is a sadistic few, I have to wonder how popular this practice would be if anyone that called for its use had to be subjected to it.

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Summer in Stillwater is Awesome [May. 16th, 2009|02:02 am]
Thursday the 9th: Saw the new Star Trek movie with James and Karen.  It was a fun movie, but felt a little over-the-top silly for my taste.

Saturday the 11th: ESL Potluck at Gene's and then Game Night at Louis and Kim's.  Got to say farewell to some of the TESL graduates and then headed over for Rock Band and board games with a lot of folks that hadn't been there before.

Monday the 13th: Had Louis and Kim over for fried chicken, played games and showed each other new apps on our iPhones.

Wednesday the 14h: Went to campus and got some writing done.  Afterward, watched Lost with a bunch of folks at James and Karen's, played with their cats.

Thursday the 15th: Ry and Lindsey had people over for games before they leave town to visit family.  Many rounds of werewolf, with the wolves losing surprisingly often. 

Friday the 16th: James and Karen had people over for a ridiculously awesome turkey dinner with cheesecake and pumpkin muffins.  Catan was Settled, cats were played with.
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Free Marketing [May. 12th, 2009|12:42 pm]
[info]newedition made some points on free markets and government regulation that I want to respond to.  She was talking about the new credit card bill:

"The bill is nonsensical for at least two fundamental reasons. First, it assigns government the authority to regulate business. Second, it violates the right of individuals to freely enter into contracts. Such is the psychology of the nanny state: people are not sovereign individuals with the authority to control their own lives, but irresponsible and needy wards of the state who require government protection against their own ignorance and shortcomings."

I'm generally in favor of a free market, except that I don't believe that's that's what we've been having.  I think we've been having a rigged free market, and that's when I think government intervention is needed.

For example, if you had an entire industry mutually decide 'let's just rob people' like healthcare has done, no one would have the power to stop it.  Consumers can't pick a 'better' option because there are none.  A company would be insane not to rob people in this environment, because they'd get crushed by the competition.  The 'free market' can't repair itself on its own in this case.

Credit cards are arguably similar.  A large number of people want credit.  To start a business, it's practically essential.  With the way credit works, it's not always easy to move debt around if your credit card is suddenly a bad deal.  Let's say you get a credit card with a low interest rate.  You have a balance, but you make your payments on time.  However, your credit isn't good enough to get multiple cards - maybe you're young and starting out.  If your credit card company just randomly decides to triple your interest rate, you are screwed, and the 'free market' can't help you.  You can't get more credit to swap the debt with, and depending on what you bought, you might not be able to pay it off quickly.  Even if you made a responsible decision at the time of getting the credit card by finding the best rates/etc., the rules of the game have suddenly changed on you.  If the grocery store had doubled its prices, you could just go to another store.  But with this credit card, your debt is immobile until you pay it off.  It's possible, in fact, that the tripled interest rate makes it so you can no longer afford all your bills, which causes even more trouble.

Your woes will hurt the company by making potential new customers go away, you say?  With ZERO oversight, there are moves that companies will inevitably make because they look good on the balance sheet.  Not out of 'evil' or anything else, but because it's good for the company financially.  If their competitors follow suit, there may be no one to question them except government or law.  I'm not saying it should be government, but we really have no other organized method that has any teeth.
Consumer mobs can react to things like 'ZOMG LEAD PAINT,' but they're incapable of studying finer aspects that can make a bigger difference.

As for the idea that people are incompetent to care for themselves, I don't like that way of thinking either.  BUT, some of the problem (particularly with the mortgage crisis and with financial planners) is that people were being lied to by experts.  If you go to a doctor and she says 'You have cancer' and then you go to two more doctors and they say 'You have cancer,' you're going to be pretty much convinced you have cancer, right?  Particularly if they show you X-rays that point to lumps, and tell you things that agree with any of your own independent research?  Now imagine that all doctors on earth are in cahoots to make you think you have cancer.  Now replace 'doctors' with 'mortgage brokers.' 

You and I are the sort that will dig around and look for information on our own, but will we do it for everything?  If your dentist says you have a cavity, will you disagree?  If your maintenance guy says you have termites?  Much of how we operate is based on trusting experts, and also on the idea that at some point you have to trust a diagnosis and run with it (even if you did the diagnosis yourself).

This is very, very exploitable, particularly if you have an entire industry built to exploit it.  Even worse if it's an industry you can't reasonably operate without or that is very difficult to not use, like a mortgage broker.  Again, I think some sort of external oversight is necessary, someone that's not a part of the system but has power to make changes to it.  Government's not the best choice, but it's the only entity at the moment that fits the bill.

And while we are currently undergoing a free market 'correction' and shady mortgage companies are going down in flames, the problem was allowed to fester so long that the correction has had disastrous consequences for everyone - foreclosures, debt tightening up, and so forth.  Even people who handled their money responsibly have been impacted by higher prices, higher rents, minimal credit.  If someone had stepped in and broken up the problem before it got this bad, the free market could have had a correction without getting it all over everyone' faces.
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Rawk [May. 10th, 2009|01:15 am]
A well-spent day - talked to my dad for his birthday, went to the TESL party and hung out with folks, then went to Louis and Kim's and played games.  There were some new faces there, which was nice - several friends we've been trying to lure to game night made appearances, and I think they enjoyed themselves.  Excerrent.  :)

Semester's done, which leaves my time basically open until August, although I do have independent study that I'm taking with Dennis.  I'm daunted by allured by the months ahead - I tend to be bad about wasting free time, but I see the summer as a serious opportunity to get some
writing done.  I've got graphic novel work to do, and I want to get some short fiction put together into a circulateable state.  A bunch of OSU's creative writers will be in town for the summer and I want to squirm my way into their feedbacking and workshopping - I want to read their stuff, I want them reading mine.  The graphic novel's almost entirely plotted out at this point - I just need to sit down and write the damn thing.  I think part of what's daunting is that I have no freaking idea what you do with a graphic novel manuscript that you are completely incapable of drawing or publishing on your own.  But I guess I'll be finding out.
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Two More Days [May. 5th, 2009|02:14 am]
The scourge of end-of-the-semester paper writing still looms, but progress is being made.  I've got two 25-30ish page papers due, one tomorrow, one Wednesday.  They're both at 15 pages so far, and should be fine by the time they need to be in.

Kim and Louis and I went cheese hunting today - Dennis had had a party for all of us in his class last week, and had served really good cheese.  Not knowing that really good cheese was obtainable in Stillwater, he informed us of a few hole-in-the-wall places that sell such arcane things as organic produce, cheese that isn't American or Swiss, and coffee that hasn't been ground yet.  We resolved to make an outing to these places today.  The outing was made, and really good chese was found and purchased.  Amazingly, we ran into Dennis at the very store he'd recommended!  We went to a couple little shops, my favorite was one that was a cross between a Hallmark store and a Whole Foods.  One half was mugs, cards, and kitschy crap, the other half was a cooler full of Emantaller, Gouda, and more, along with shelves of crackers, dips, and sauces.  It was pretty awesome.

We went to their place and devoured our spoils, had some burgers, and then adjourned for paper writing, which is what I've (mostly) been up to for the evening.
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A Solid Day [Apr. 29th, 2009|12:01 am]
Went in this afternoon and hung out with Louis - he's my best bud here in Stillwater, and he just acquired Photoshop, so we messed around in that for a while.  Sociolinguistics class was fun, people were presenting today and they all had pretty cool things to say.  Dennis had a party for us afterward and had a ridiculous amount of delcious food.  He was kind of miffed that the chicken salad sandwiches all got devoured, but the tuna salad plate was pristine.  Had a nice time chatting with professors and classmates, and found out that the doctoral students no longer have to take the Comprehensive Exam!!!  Instead it's like MSU where you have to submit two papers that your committee judges as 'publishable,' which makes sooo much more sense.  Writing papers is going to be your job as a professor, not taking tests.
Had a nice, long talk with my dad on the phone, and it was good to catch up with him.  Conference reimbursement finally came in, swelling the coffers considerably.  As the semester winds down, life is doing nicely.  :)
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People Younger than Me Are Going Bald on Their Facebook Pics [Apr. 26th, 2009|12:31 am]
What the hell?

I'm supposed to be terrifying them by looking like a middle-aged man, not the other way around!

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Pet Peeve of the Day [Apr. 23rd, 2009|11:48 am]
People (usually girls) who make their profile picture on something like Facebook one of the following:

1) A picture of them and their significant other, with the significant other filling almost the entire picture.

2) Their kid.

You're still allowed to have an identity of your own, even if you have a boyfriend and/or child.  Your kid/boyfriend/husband is not YOU!!!
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In Arizona [Mar. 18th, 2009|02:15 am]
So I'm back in AZ for spring break, hangin' out with my mom.  We're doing a trip to Vegas starting tomorrow, which should be great fun.  We're staying at Planet Hollywood, in the center of the Strip - going to see Penn and Teller and a Cirque show while we're there.

Returning to Arizona is sort of strange - I've been gone long enough that it feels far away, like someone I know lived here, not me.  The time I spent here is almost a thing I piece together.  Rather than saying 'I lived here, and so I know where all the roads go,' I say
"I know where all the roads go, so I must have lived here."

We watched Milk for the first time today, and neither of us was very impressed.  The movie feels weirdly passionless, and much of the story happens without explanation.  I used to complain at poetry slams that the poem about being black and/or gay was automatically judged Best In Show, and this feels similar.  While Sean Penn's acting is phenomenal, all the other characters are utterly forgetable, and the plot feels like a standard-issue hero biopic stamped out of a press.  The fit and finish is just plain uninspired. Are we seriously at a point where all you have to do is acknowledge homosexuality and you're an Oscar contender?  

*shrug*

Things otherwise go smoothly - Mom looks good, Arizona looks good, it's nice to be in a big city again.  We got in a traffic jam and I was practically taking pictures - I haven't seen that many cars in one place in months!

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I Wrote a Story [Mar. 17th, 2009|03:24 am]
Blizzard has a short story contest going, which prompted me to write this, but I pretty much kept out any game vocabulary.  I wanted it to function on its own, and I think it works better if the setting is nebulous.  I welcome any feedback!  Can you follow what's happening and why?  Suggestions for a title are welcome too.  I'd put it below an LJ-cut, but LJ's being retarded about that for some reason.

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It is a matter of negotiation. 

The others think of it as simply digging your claws in and taking what you want, but my people know the truth of things.  Real, honest mining is a dialogue, a conversation.  A give and take.  Soft picking away of disagreements, steady hammering at vital issues, even conceding when the point is well argued.  The vaults and caverns of this world were carved, not blasted.  A miner listens to the earth and takes what it willingly gives.  And he provides willingly what it asks. 

Such are my thoughts as I lay my pick aside and tilt back my waterskin.  The stray drops trace tributaries through the dust on my face, and I look across the tunnel to Glondheim.

He sees my gaze and takes a rest from his own talk with the earth.  I don’t have to expound to him on what it means to be a miner– Glondheim is of my people and knows full well.

“The bounty here is rich,” he says.  “The only ones here I pity are the poor souls who push the carts – we fill them up so quickly!” his laugh is satisfaction.

He peers about before sneaking a swig from the flask in his belt.  Even from here I can smell the unrestrained power of the liquor.

I chide him: “The Overseer-“

“The Overseer knows,” he says.  “But if the rest of you lot found out, you’d guzzle it all!”

“Bah!” I sputter.  “We’d use that stuff to polish our boots!  We’d only drink it if we wanted to go blind!”

“Why do you think I drink it, Thorsten?” his eyes shine with mirth.  “So I don’t have to look at your filthy mug all day!” he taps his head with shrewdness.  “I don’t need my eyes to know where the rock is.”

As we lift our picks again, I am content in the truth of his words.  We know where the rock is, always.
We are miners, right and true.

-

We work in silence for a while, letting the chink of metal on stone echo around us.  The earth harkens to our assertions and gives way.  The scattered rocks and rubble of our labors is gathered up by others and rumbles away in carts of wood and banded iron.

Glondheim rests himself on the stone ground and chews his biscuit thoughtfully - the crumbs of it gather in his auburn beard.

“How long have we been here?” he asks.

The answer is in my mind instantly: “One hundred and eleven days.”

He whistles.  “We’ve done a lot in that time,” he says.  “And it will do a great deal of good.  The ore in this place is fine and hearty, like those who mine it!” he thumps his chest.  “It will make sturdy blades, stout armor, and many shoes for the riding rams.”

“We’ll go home proud,” I say.

A little more of his biscuit disappears into his mouth and falls in crumbles about his beard.  He pauses again, and his brow furrows.  He says nothing.

“Thorsten?” his normal baritone is unsettled.  “Do you think of your family much?”

“Absolutely,” I say. “On every one of those hundred and eleven days.”

“I... do as well.”  He looks up from the ground into my eyes.  “But the thing is, I feel like it’s been so long that I almost can’t... see them, you know?  All I have to remember my wife is this image in my head...  Am I remembering her, or just the image?  What if I have her hair wrong, or her face wrong?  What if I get home and she’s not the woman I remember?”

“Or if there’s a man sleeping in bed with her that you don’t remember!” I slap my thigh and grin at him, but he doesn’t ready one of his usual retorts.  I feel badly, and look down.

“I’m sorry, Glondheim,” I say. “I’m just having a joke with you.”

“Oh, I know it,” he says.  “It’s just- do you ever feel that way?”

I sit for a moment, but he’s a dear friend and I tell him the truth.
“I don’t, I don’t,” I answer.  “I see them so clear in my head, always.  I see that ribbon she ties on her wrist, and the strands of her hair I’d always pull off of my jacket after I laid it on the bed.  My son and his silly big feet and his wise young eyes...”

Glondheim’s eyes are moist.  “You’ve a blessed thing, my friend, and I’m happy to know you have it.”
He smiles, stands, and brushes the crumbs out of his beard.  We return to our labor and the earth  returns to us.

-

Days fall away like the stone beneath our picks, and our work proceeds well.  The Overseer is pleased with our progress, and our service is well rewarded.  The rock of this place sings to us, and we are the refrain.

But today is different – our chorus is jarred by screams and clashings.  Glondheim and I are startled from our work and brace ourselves against the wall.  The sounds of strife draw nearer until a staggering figure arrives – a clanking cacophony of spaulders and vambraces and helmet.  He carries axe and lantern, but his gait and his build mark him as one of our people.  I look to Glondheim and we lower our picks.

“Quickly boys, hurry!” the figure waves a beckoning hand.

We do not move.  Glondheim is perplexed, as am I.  The figure raises his lantern to me, and my eyes squint closed by reflex.

“...Thorsten?” the suit of armor says, lowering his light.

“I am he,” I say.  “Do you bring a message for me?”

“What?  A message?  Thorsten, we’ve got to get you out of here!  You can escape!”

“Escape?” Glondheim looks at me, confused, and I shake my head.  I don’t understand either.

“Look,” I say.  “Whoever you are, you don’t understand.  We are miners, helping with the war effort.  My pay goes to my wife and child who depend on me, and I am paid well.  We are safe and happy here, and I promise you, there’s no ‘escaping’ needed today.”

“Wife?” the stranger stammers.  “Children?!  Thorsten, you daft fool, you’ve got no wife!  You’re barely old enough to have a beard, let alone a family!”

Nothing moves – even the rock is silent.

“Now you two pull yourselves together and come with me this instant!  I’ll explain once we get you outside!”

His gauntlet closes upon my arm and he tugs me toward him.  I look to Glondheim and he nods.  There is work to be done, and we will go nowhere until it is finished.  We raise our picks, and negotiations begin.  Our arguments are weighty.  The intruder gives way.

The floor of the tunnel is still slick when the Overseer comes.  It senses what we have done and we feel its pleasure in our minds.  One of its tendrils crawls along my cheek and caresses its approval.
The Overseer shambles back into the tunnels. 

-

One day when our task is completed, Glondheim and I will return home to our families, and I will see my wife and son again.  I will think of them always, and the clear vision I have of their faces and our home will never ebb.  But for now, there is mining to be done, and we are miners, right and true. 

The earth sings.

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Late Night - Damn You, Daylight Savings! [Mar. 8th, 2009|03:22 am]
It would normally be only 2:22 as I type this, but now it's even later.  Alas. 

Hung out with some friends today and played Settlers, which I hadn't done in a while.  Also watched some of The Royal Tanenbaums and liberally pet my friends' cats.  Louis and Kim were busy with family today, so we didn't do our usual game night.  As much as I like their hyperactive dog, it was very nice to have cats to pet.  I don't know what to do with dogs - they tend to accomodate me as I interface with them like a foreign tourist out of a phrasebook.  The dog will appreciate the effort but know that I am not someone that truly understands them.  Most cats and I are cool, we know how things work.  Many people think cats are aloof, but that's largely because they pet them like dogs.  They manhandle the cat, pick 'em up, get in their face, and wonder why they get hateful glares.  Cats aren't automatic love dispensers - you have to build a relationship.  A dog will put up with your shit, but a cat will call you on it.  If a cat is angry with you, there's a good chance the anger is justified.  I don't think people like to be aware of that.

Writing progresses well - I continue to write regularly, and have some good conflicts brewing for the end of the comic.  I'd been concerned that there wasn't enough intensity but I think that's being fixed.

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Collection of Stuff [Mar. 3rd, 2009|12:40 am]
So not too long ago my American Express credit limit was drastically cut, from $11,800 to $3,800, which seemed pretty bizarre.  At the time I had a balance on there, but I didn't make late payments or anything.  I was also nowhere near my credit limit.  When I first got the card, it had a credit limit of $800.  I asked for an increase, and they raised it to ridiculous heights.  I always thought that my limit being slashed was weird, and I just found out it was in fact total bullshit.  They compiled a secret list of 'unreliable' places and slashed your credit limit merely for shopping there.  Who are the unreliable places?  No one knows!!!  You could be flawless in making your payments, but if you shop at ScaryMart, no credit for you!  Basically, they are in bad straits, and they know people are living off of credit cards.  Better cut those credit lines so you're not paying for broke people's food!  It'd be nice if they were a little less assholic about it, since having a credit limit cut does look bad on credit reports.  :P

In other news, I read Coraline today, and was amused by the fact that the movie was more or less true to the book (apart from some surreal, time-filling sequences), except that they added a major character that isn't in the book at all: Whybie.  The thing I find particularly fitting is that Coraline's main trait in the book is that she's self-reliant - she drives the whole story and makes every decision.  Whybie's basically a useless character in the movie (and even his name is a pun to question why the fuck he exists!), except that he does one thing - save Coraline at the end of the movie!!  In an era where the leading lady is an idiot priss as in Confessions of a Shopaholic, it's appropriate that a story about a self-motivated girl can't make it to the screen without a man to save her.  The majority of our country's women need to throw some fucking water on their faces and slap themselves right now.  Why the hell aren't you marching in the streets?

Overall, llife is slow at the moment.  Classes are fine, but I wish I was teaching.  Dennis insisted that I'd have tons of work to do on his journal this term, and it turned out to be a fat lot of nothing.  As long as the Horrible Test of Horribleness loomed, I wasn't exactly going to press the issue (nor did I have time), but now it's passed and I'm bored, dammit.  I want classes that meet more than once a week, I want to be teaching, I want to feel less cut off from the other students.  I'm strongly considering taking a creative writing or lit class next term, just to see some new faces and get more contact with the creative writers.  Linguists that aren't sociolinguists are frankly boring as hell, and Dennis is the only sociolinguist here.  I don't know how people can spend their lives studying something so damn interesting and be so damn dull.

I'm a bit frustrated because I continue to feel like people are segmented off - the creative writers talk about literature, music, and movies, and not much else.  I mentioned a concept from Psych 101 in my TESOL class and no one knew what I was talking about, including the professor.  I miss having an economist and a computer scientist for roommates - I don't like being the only one that thinks about things scientifically.  Dennis offers some refuge because he's someone that knows what a multiple regression is and also has a bitchin' music collection, but as a professor he's largely distant from the grad student culture at OSU.  I suspect that'll change over time, though.

I'm writing again.  I'm almost afraid that if I acknowledge them that my ideas will dry up, that once I get my head patted I'll lose all motivation.  And yet, I've basically written what would be an entire issue of comic in less than a week, and I feel good about the quality of it.  It's all come out very easily, and I've written almost every day for over a week now.  I'm telling myself that it's best if I not write with any future in mind, or any purpose.  Laboring over 'what will I do with this?' and 'why am I having trouble writing this?' is ultimately fruitless.  In general I think people that say 'I don't write for anyone else' are full of shit, but there is some sense to it - putting too much thought into things unrelated to the writing itself can cripple it.  I don't know if this story is ever going to be finished, if I'll just stall out again, if it's ever going to get drawn - I just know I have things to write right now and they're getting written.  I suppose that's as much as one can ever know, and such limited knowledge is no excuse not to get things down.

Romance in Oklahoma seems beyond hopeless.  If you're female, 25, and not on your second marriage and third kid, you're far behind.  If feminism is weak and ailing in other parts of the country, it's a rotted husk here.  The dozen or so interesting women in the state are all taken, and will always be, now and forever.  Sensuality is a thing that I have to remember remembering.  I feel like some sort of weird cripple in a world where everyone else is married - I'm not sure I have a single friend that isn't paired off, here, or in Michigan.  Melodramatic?  Perhaps, but if you're reading this, you probably have a significant other you've been close with for a while, so fuck you.  Being alone is something you only remember remembering, and you're not exactly trying too hard to hold onto those memories, now are you?

I am by and large pleased that people older than me are losing all their money.  Part of me is unhappy to admit this - I don't like to confess that I can take delight in other people suffering.  On the other hand, I spent five years being rejected by people with big BMW's, and being told that I was weak by people with big SUV's.  I groveled for jobs I was a perfect fit for, and got spat out by companies because I was efficient - I got paid less because I was a good worker.  I saw these people reject innovation, ignore talent, and basically not give a shit about anything.
I'm fucking glad they don't get to retire.  I'm fucking glad they'll have to live with their children, that they won't have health coverage, and that they'll suffer.  I'm glad they're drowning in debt and will never be able to pay off those granite countertops, and I don't care if they fucking starve.

I appear to be more or less safe from the financial storm at the moment.  I'm paid out of fellowships and grants that are already doled out and sit waiting in accounts - they don't have to scrounge up new money every year.  Oklahoma dodged the housing crash because the properties were worthless to begin with - no bubble to burst.  The lower gas prices are slowing things down, but so far not dangerously.  I am extremely thankful to be where I am.  Severe financial hardship is recent enough for me that it is remembered directly - it's not a long-forgotten boogums of bygone days.  I still fear that I'll get the call that the University has no more money, that I'm turned out yet again into the hopeless, hopeless job market, and that the safe haven I've scrabbled under will be kicked to cinders.  I am safe right now and terribly protective of it.  When I graduate I'll be back to uncertainty until I land a professorship, but I'll have had some time to recover, and hopefully the country will have too.  I do worry that Dubya's skullfucking of the United States was permanently damaging, but he seems to have crippled the rest of the world with us.  Even Dubai has joined the company of People Older Than Me that Are Losing All Their Money. 

And I'm basically fine with that.
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Coraline [Feb. 27th, 2009|11:44 pm]
[Tags|]

I saw Coraline this evening, and it was good, particularly with the 3D.  I know they've made a couple pushes for 3D in the past, but this looked especially gorgeous - there was contour, not just flat things that appear to be further away from each other.  I have the book but haven't read it yet.  As I was walking to my car I found myself thinking "Damn Pan's Labyrinth was a good movie!"  This sort of felt like Pan's Labyrinth for kids - disturbing but not horrific, stinging but not painful, and a very different ending.  It's good, but it's not brilliant.  The powerful sense of beauty left at the end of Wall-E was absent, and while Coraline's setting is vivid and lovely, there's very little to the characters to make them truly compelling.  Coraline herself is really the only character that's explored at all, and I'm not sure that she really develops much.

To be fair, there is nothing wrong with the film, and it's amusing, creepy, and enjoyable.  Not every movie needs to have the grandest of adjectives attached to it.  But then, don't we all like a little grandiosity now and again?

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BWAHAHAHA [Feb. 19th, 2009|10:54 am]
(CNN) — Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele says his party is going to launch an "off the hook" public relations campaign that will update the GOP’s image by translating it to "urban-suburban hip-hop settings."

...can you even imagine?

"Word homey G dawgizzle, I'm here to tell you that the G-O-P is like your brother from another mother, especially since your real brother got sent off to Iraq, filled with shrapnel, and sent home in a body bag, largely because the economy was so desperate that he had no other options.  We uh... might've been responsible for that, since we started a cockamamie war and wouldn't pay for body or truck armor.  But it did bankrupt the country, so that's good, right?  And if you lost your house recently, that was us too.  Oh yeah, and Katrina let you know just how much we love you negr- er... black people.  But don't worry, the GOP is there to vote against anything and everything that would give you money, a job, or a better standard of living.  You can go FAR in our party, just not to any sort of elected office.  GOD no.  But you'll make a fine general someday, just like your brother... uh... would've.  Palin 2012, mah homies!  Get down with the hockey mom!"

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Doom Countdown: Three Days [Feb. 12th, 2009|12:36 am]
The Horrible Test of Horribleness is this Saturday, and most of today was spent preparing for it.  I met up with some fellow grad students this morning and we hashed out questions, and then I met with the TESOL director and hashed out more with her.  I'm feeling pretty confident, and there's only a few things that I really need to brush up on at this point.  While the prospect of the test has been stressful, it's been really good to get caught up on things.  I realize rather amazedly that I've been doing linguistics on and off for about ten years now, which makes me feel a bit less guilty for having things in my head that I only vaguely remember!
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Eventful [Feb. 11th, 2009|01:56 am]
So this morning it was 70 degrees and sunny.  Right around the time I was headed to class, however, things had changed.  The sky was solid, dark grey, and things were clearly fixin' to go down.  The drive to school was surreal - the roads were jammed with people, and an accident happened right in front of me.  One street later, there was another smashed car in the middle of the road, with a woman crying into someone's driver's side window.  This helped contribute to the general feeling of apocalypse in Stillwater, and I managed to get parked safely.  I made my way to the Union to turn in some receipts, when the fire alarm went off and the loudspeaker began telling us that a tornado had touched down in Stillwater, and we needed to head to the basement.  Hundreds of people were heading downstairs, and when I looked out the window on my way down, it was hailing and people were running for cover.  We piled in to the offices on the bottom floor, and I followed the news on my laptop.  We stayed down there for about 45 minutes until they gave the all clear.

When I emerged, there were some trees that looked like they'd been almost blown over, and it had clearly rained ridiculous amounts of water for 45 minutes.  It continued thunderstorming until about 10pm.  Fortunately the tornado seems to have hit the west side of town (which isn't terrilby populated), so I don't think the damage was severe.  My place is intact and I have electricity. 

Two weeks ago today we had ice storms so bad they canceled school, and this Saturday I was sitting out on my porch in shorts reading a book.  Today, hail, thunderstorms, and tornados.  February in Oklahoma is an exciting time.
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Two Saturdays [Feb. 8th, 2009|02:06 am]
Last Saturday was a wonderful day - I went to Dennis' house and he and his wife generously gave a lot of help with the PhD exam questions.  The first year exam is a test I'm taking in a week, and it determines whether I stay in the program here.  The school gave us the questions in advance (30 possible questions, from which I'll get handed six.  Of that six, I answer three.  It's a five hour test.).  For obvious reasons all us PhD folk have been preparing for a good while now, and it was really good to talk out the questions with Dennis (a linguistics prof) and his wife (a former ESL teacher).  They gave me a big pile of books to read through, and I'm slowly plowing through them. 

The whole afternoon was very lovely - we talked linguistics, ate delicious smoked barbecue, and traded our impressions of Stillwater.  Stillwater is the sort of place that has many secrets - the little international market tucked away on Miller Street, the one grocery store that sells smoked barbecue on Friday and Saturday mornings only.  Trading notes is essential, and it's the sort of place that takes years to really live in.

After dinner with the Prestons, I went to Game Night with my friends, which was good fun as always.  There was much Rock Banding, and I'm finally getting so I don't suck at guitar anymore.  I can handle most songs on Medium and score unremarkably - not great, but not terrible.  I'm definitely best at the singing, but it's taken some adjusting - I'm used to choral music, not Creedence.

This Saturday's game night was fun, but subdued - it was just three of us, and we played some fun but involved board games - Arkham Horror and Shogun.  We got totally owned in Arkham Horror, but we miraculously picked the one elder god that was a pansy.  Most of the elder gods beat the living shit out of you, but we had a guy out of an expansion - all he did was make us make gradually more difficult Fight checks over and over again, but we killed him before it would have been a problem.  So bizarrely, after a whole game of not closing gates and getting slaughtered by monsters, we schooled the Elder God.  As an additional bonus, my character was a nun who knew fisticuffs as her skill.  She carried a magic cane and threw down against unnamable horrors from beyond.  Not only did she dodge being run over by a speeding car, she also beat a trucker in a drinking contest and won the allegiance of an art thief.  Despite having almost no stamina, she never lost a fight.  She was a badass nun.

Shogun is a really, really cool game where you're trying to take over feudal Japan, sort of like Risk.  It's much more interesting, however, because it's not all military.  You have a set of actions you can take, and you can only do each thing once per turn.  You pick which of your provinces will do each thing.  You don't have to take every action, but more importantly, you don't know the order that the actions will be taken in!  So you don't know if you'll be attacking and then getting reinforcements, or getting reinforcements and then attacking.  You might allocate spending but not know when your revenue for the turn is coming in.  Extremely interesting game.

Still, overall people are kind of down here now.  A lot of test studying mixed with a couple rampant illness (I was sick for much of last week) have kept folks somber and mostly staying home.  I'll be glad when the test is over and everyone gets their lives back.

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Having some Fun [Jan. 31st, 2009|12:04 pm]
In Warcraft there are 'Retribution Paladins' or 'Ret Pallies.'  Someone in a forum was mistyping it as 'Red Pallies,' which prompted me to pen the following:

The Tale of the Red Paladin

Glognar slipped the pouch into jacket with a deft motion of his hand. Inside, he grinned, but his face revealed nothing. His mark was totally unaware.

"Yes, my lady," Glognar said eagerly. "Tell me of-" there was a crash of buckling wood!
The door flew apart in a cascade of splinters.

"It is I!" a throaty voice boomed.

Oh no. Not him. Not that pretentious-

"Unhand her coinpurse at once, filthy rogue!!" the towering figure extended a crimson hand.

Glognar grudgingly fished it out of his pocket, avoiding eye contact with the sanctimonious brute. The armored figure's gauntleted fingers closed around the bag, squeezing it tight.

"Thank you," he rumbled. And strode out the door.


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